It has been 5 months since we arrived in Jordan. The honeymoon stage on the first month had passed and we are now experiencing the reality of settling in the land of my husband’s forefathers. We are home. We experienced kind acceptance by the O. family and clan as well as outright rejection by some friends. We experienced welcome arms as well as indifference. Most important of all, we have had constant streams of visitors. We have ample chance to serve and chat with them. People talk about politics and religion everywhere. Sometimes, I get real nervous when passionate “conversations” occur; It has been a time of treading in the waters.
One of the hurdles that we face was our application for business permit. Dan was given several “interviews” and since he cannot compromise, his application was declined. He felt like Paul, appealing to Rome, insisting on his rights to no avail. It is a humbling experience to feel like a second class citizen. Another concern is the delayed release of my residence visa. Dan was called to ‘report’ again... Morever, we had an emotional blow from another miscarriage; It was a time of suspense and uncertainty.
Our Father opened new avenue for us last month. We found teaching posts respectively. This redirection encourages us. We have some “bread and butter”, which uplifted our inner selves. He calmed our worries and fears, too. We are pressed but not crushed, because we are assured that His eye is on the sparrow and continually experience His watching eyes on us; It is a time of making melodies in our hearts.
The month of Ramadan is over. People in the village showed devotion in prayer and fasting and alms giving. A relatively huge mosque in our small village was officially opened this month. We suspected that our presence seemed to made the villagers cling closer to their traditions and duties. On a larger scale, Jordan is reacting against western (or modern) influence and effectively took a traditional, conservative and religious outlook. I have learned their psyche of shame, denial and blame. It is astoundingly deep. At the same time, pedagogy and child development have a different twist in this part of the world. At least in my area, children are not spanked. They are used to get their own way. I was amazed to see parents or adults give a stick to their kids and fight them roughly. My conservative upbringing made me feel embarrassed (but also proud and pleased) to see that kids are affectionately kissed in public. Something I haven't expected in this culture. In many ways, here is a huge rocky field. Many farmers are downhearted and confused. It is truly a serious time to engage in pleading, crying, fasting and praying.
Today, Dan’s father fell and had a fractured nose. He ages 80++ and is a strong man. This incident frightened the family. It reminded us that life is fragile. Every opportunity counts. As we continually face, question and pursue our ‘uncomfortable’ zone, we know the one who called us is faithful. Friends, it is time to let our light shine so that people may see our good works and glorify our Father.
